Today
Tue 6, Jan 2009
Mon 5, Jan 2009
Tue 23, Dec 2008
Mon 22, Dec 2008
Fri 19, Dec 2008
Thu 18, Dec 2008
ON the Tube, in a coffee shop, crossing the road - love can strike anywhere in London.
And every day thelondonpaper receives scores of emails and texts from Londoners who think they may have spotted the love (or lust) of their lives, but who didn't stop to do anything about it!
But all is not lost because we're more than happy to play Cupid and everyday we publish our favourite paeans to lost love - which might just be salvagable!
We'll publish the best and if we help to hook you up you could even win a romantic meal for two courtesy of ASK Restaurants.
What have you got to lose?
Today's Lovestruck Londoners: Could it be you they fancy!?
To the nice guy on the train from Paris on Saturday. Thanks for letting me watch Atonement on your laptop. I was too shy to ask for your number. Fancy a drink?
ANON
Wednesday, 30 Dec: To the stylish sister on the Jubilee line. Beautiful lace-up gloves. WLTM if you are single.
BESPOKE BROTHER
To the really beautiful lady on the Northern line to High Barnet. You were reading a music book in Spanish? I got off at Bank.
THE GUY IN BLACK SAT OPPOSITE
To Coco Pops boy from Norbury: I’m the girl on the Northern line – you tapped me to turn down my Dizzee Rascal, then asked me for my number. I told you to check thelondonpaper love page. Hot choc?
BARNES
To the gorgeous brunette girl I met in Chicago’s, Basildon, on Saturday night. I snogged you twice but didn’t get the chance to ask you out. Fancy meeting up?
Stripey Jumper
To the fit man in Roadhouse the Friday night before Christmas. You wrapped my scarf around my jeans and tied it tight. You made me smile. Fancy a drink?
S
To the fit black guy opposite me on the Tube at Leicester Square. I was laughing with my friend but really talking about you. Get in touch?
Sexy girl who caught your eye opposite
To the tall woman with the tongue piercing on the Victoria line at Finsbury Park on Monday. You have the cheekiest smile. Drink?
Yellow top
Northern line, Christmas Eve. You had three Selfridges bags and a pink soft toy. I got on at London Bridge, you got off at Clapham North. We should have got off together.
ANON
To the girl with purple hair on the Mitcham bus on Monday who winked at me when I pushed the stop button approaching Clapham. Drink?
Alex
HAS LOVE STRUCK YOU?
Recognise yourself? Email love@thelondonpaper.com.
You could win a meal for you and your admirer at an ASK restaurant
Click here for terms and conditions
You see, in the cold light of 2 January (the 1st was the usual blur), I made the mistake of sitting down and trawling through all the columns I wrote in 2008. Had my jaw dropped any further I’d have had to tie it back to my face with a ribbon. Reading my own words back to myself, I’ve spent the past 12 months acting like a recently decapitated turkey, using its last headless spurt of life to career drunkenly around the farmyard making an utter tit of itself. The men in my life have shot past like cartoon roadrunners, while my heartbeat became a sort of internal stutter as I first chased after then ran away from a steady stream of lovers – about half of them called Jake.
What was all that about? In the time I spent chasing love affairs and flings last year, I could have been doing something constructive, like learning aikido or greyhound husbandry.
So after five minutes of hungover thought, I resolved that 2009 should be the year I slow down and moderate my demented search for sex and romantic excitement. Everyone seems to feel obliged to get all sober at the moment, so why not me?
Alas, there’s a problem: I really, really don’t want to. You see, while it’s time-consuming and sometimes painful, this love and sex nonsense is what makes me (and most of us?) feel alive. Anyway, my instincts seem to be impervious to resolution. Although my last fling folded before Christmas (remember B, the redheaded fetishist?) I’ve already met someone else who once again makes the world seem like a place bristling with wonder, warmth and excitement.
Naturally, this being me, there’s not much future in it – while the man in question has treated me with plenty of affection and even the odd hint of encouragement, he’s attached and wants to stay that way. Oh, and he lives in Paris. And hasn’t (yet) admitted to fancying me.
Still, the hard facts of practicality, geography and inclination have never proved a deterrent to me in the past, and right now all is good in my world – even oxygen is tasting pretty damned delicious. Under the circumstances, maybe I can get away with postponing the resolution just one more year?
joshua@thelondonpaper.com
My friends say I am the complete package but I never meet the right girl. After a very painful break-up, I am really disillusioned with the dating scene. I just want to meet someone.”
Puish Soni, 31, director, Islington
James says
Every time you have a date that doesn’t lead anywhere, accept that it is a chance to learn. The more you date, the better the chance of a connection.
• Are you giving women a fair chance? Don’t reject them too quickly: attraction sometimes emerges only after a couple of dates.
• Don’t blame everyone for the mistakes of your past. Every woman deserves to show they are worthy of dating you.
Help! My relationship just seems to be gathering dust
I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years and things are getting a bit stale. We are starting to behave as best friends and not a couple. I would never change him for anything, but I would like to spice things up a bit.”
Vanessa Garcia, 26, PR, Warwick Avenue
James says
Visit new places or sign up to some classes together.
• If you’ve found that sex always takes place at the same time, initiate it when he wouldn’t expect it.
• Tell him how you feel. If he’s not aware there’s a problem, you can’t expect him to help you do anything about it.
• One night each week, do your own thing. It gives you both the chance to miss each other.
Young, successful and single
My career has taken off, but I have less time to meet women and those I do meet are older. I’ve never seen age as a problem, but it is making this difficult.”
Dave Cocozza, 18, Business Development Manager, Stratford
James says
Keep a date diary to keep track of how much time you’re spending at work compared to being able to enjoy yourself.
• Your mates might know someone who is perfect for you.
• Try one-hour “coffee dates” instead of first dates in bars. They are quick and it is much easier to converse during them. You can arrange a longer date next time.
• Meeting older women can still help you, as they’ll be able to give you a good insight into what real women want they know exactly what women look for., and they may have a daughter they can introduce you too.
I want commitment, but I’m scared of it
I am scared of commitment so choose dates for superficial reasons and keep the relationship shallow. But then I wonder why they don’t have deeper feelings for me.”
Melissa Jones, 24, Freelance PR, Bethnal Green
James says
If a decent man asks you out, give him a chance. If things look promising, you should give the relationship a shot.
• Don’t refuse to commit just because you are scared of where it might lead.
• Don’t have sex too quickly. Make him wait, he’ll appreciate you more.
• Act like the person you are looking for. If you want a kind, sporty man then get fit and do nice things for other people. Like attracts like.
ON the Tube, in a coffee shop, crossing the road - love can strike anywhere in London.
And every day thelondonpaper receives scores of emails and texts from Londoners who think they may have spotted the love (or lust) of their lives, but who didn't stop to do anything about it!
But all is not lost because we're more than happy to play Cupid and everyday we publish our favourite paeans to lost love - which might just be salvagable!
Spotted a hottie on the Jubilee Line? Drop us a text. Heart melted by the boy in the Tate? Send us an email. Madly in love with the girl who collected your glass last night? You know what to do.
We'll publish the best and if we help to hook you up you could even win a romantic meal for two courtesy of ASK Restaurants.
What have you got to lose?
Today's Lovestruck Londoners: Could it be you they fancy!?
New Year’s Eve, to the cute dark-haired guy on the Metropolitan line. You got on at Finchley Road. We both got off at Baker Street. I wish I’d said hi. Brunette girl
To the girl with short blonde hair on the Northern line, Saturday 8.30pm. You caught me looking at you and then we couldn’t stop smiling! Got out at Tottenham Court Road station and we waved at each other. You’re cute, get in touch! ANON
To the sexy guy in Hammersmith who stopped in front of my black car to admire my pet dog on 27 December. Would be great to meet you for a drink.
Pink-haired girl
To the gorgeous girl sitting next to me on the Tube from Oxford Circus to Stratford on Boxing Day. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you from the moment I saw you. Wish I took your number. Would love to see you again. Guy in red T-shirt with Body Shop bag
Christmas Eve morning on the District line. You’re the cute girl with brown hair and red shoes. I was holding a pink scarf. I bashfully gazed at you and smiled a few times. You smiled back before I got off at Embankment. Drink? Martin
To the cute, tall guy who stole my heart twice on Latchmere Road, 18 December. You’re an angel. We stared at each other, but we were both too shy to exchange a word. Oriental girl in pink scarf
To Chubs. We met at the Hed Kandi New Year’s Eve party and had a little pash. We joked about you making your hat, belt and shoes and I replied that I had made breakfast. I would love to make breakfast for you sometime. Andrew
To the cute guy in the brown leather jacket, absorbed in what I think was a manga book on the train to Richmond, on Sunday. I melted when you looked up at me. You seemed familiar somehow. I got off at Hackney Central. Want to trade manga?
Girl sat opposite with dark blonde hair and green coat
To the stunning guy who I saw on the Barnes to Richmond train, morning of 29 December. We got on and off at the same time. You sat a couple of seats down from me, facing me. I caught you looking at me over the seats between us. You were in grey. Drink? GIRL IN BLACK-AND-WHITE CHECKED COAT
To the man with long curly hair, very sexy eyes and black coat at Hammersmith bus station, 18 Dec, 9.30pm. I smiled at you and we got on the 211. I was the brunette girl with the Zara bag. I really want to see you again. H
To the stunning brunette in the sexy jeans at Greenwich DLR on Monday. You look just like thelondonpaper’s ‘Girl About Town’. Wish I had the courage to say hi. STEVE
To the cute guy who I often see on the 3.41pm train to Brighton. You’re slim and always wear striped jerseys and scarves. I’m the big Aussie bloke who moved over to give you some room on Monday. LUKE
To the brunette with beautiful brown eyes who I bumped into on High Street Kensington at the weekend. I said you looked gorgeous, you said you were on your way to work even though it was Sunday. Wish we’d been able to talk for longer, sorry I didn’t ask for your number. Do you fancy bumping into me again? ANON
HAS LOVE STRUCK YOU?
Recognise yourself? Email love@thelondonpaper.com.
You could win a meal for you and your admirer at an ASK restaurant
Click here for terms and conditions
I'VE learnt not to make resolutions, but after this week, there is one skill I need to require in 2009.
Like a lot of men, I learned most of my sexual techniques before the age of 21. After that, any new “moves” have either been stumbled across by accident or been impressed upon me by frustrated female partners. But one skill I never managed in all those formative years is how to remove a girl’s bra without the fiddly hassle.
When it comes to unhooking those bad boys, my stubby fingers lack the dexterity to whip one off with skill. I imagine all other men can unhook them easy as they unclick a seat belt, but for me – hopelessly wrestling with a fist full of strap – those things have padlocks on.
I know it’s just a matter of pushing the opposite ends of the clasp together and popping it open, but unless a woman has her back to me and lets me pull the clasp apart with both hands, I am stumped. And seriously, what girl ever was aroused by the line “Love, can you turn around a sec and lift your shirt up”?
It happened again over Christmas with my new squeeze. After I’d successfully navigated the “what present do you buy a girl you have only just started dating” issue by buying her the one thing I’d heard her say she wanted – a pair of designer heels (which broke the bank as well as my spirit) – we got down to some festive undressing as she modelled them for me.
After fruitlessly wrestling with her bra strap - I could feel all our sexual momentum disappearing - so I decided to unceremoniously pop her boobs out of the cups. Quite rightly, she winced a bit.
Like most women. I doubt she appreciated carefully dressing for a date, only to be undressed again with all the care of a safari park chimp pulling at a car windscreen wiper. Frankly, women (and their lingerie) deserve better.
I know there are more desirable skills than bra-unclasping, but us men prize this wholly one-dimensional talent as something to behold.
It’s as if an alpha male - like being able to shave or put up shelves - should also be able to remove a woman’s underwear before she has even realised its off. As though a woman - if she ever noticed she was suddenly braless - would immediately change her mind about sex on the spot.
In 2009, I have way too many faults and foibles to correct to target just one. But learning how to pick open those damn booby locks with skill would be a decent start.
andy.jones@thelondonpaper.com
While you may have acted on a mutual attraction, you are not always mutually agreed on where it will end. Media executives Beatrice, 28, and Andrew, 31, got it on at their Christmas party last year and now can’t stand the sight of each other. A tricky situation as they have to sit opposite one another every day.
Andrew explains: “I’d always fancied Bea, but after we spent the night together, I didn’t think it was a good idea to get involved because we work so closely. I thought we’d sorted this out, but Beatrice is obviously still very upset with me, which makes it increasingly hard to work together.”
Beatrice says: “Andrew was incredibly immature in the way that he dealt with things between us. I thought we should talk about what happened and what his expectations were in terms of our relationship.
“But he ignored me and didn’t bother returning any of my phone calls. I arrived at work not knowing what was going on.”
Lynda Field, relationship expert and author of Fast Track To Happiness, says if neither party wants to take things further, keep it simple – just make sure you’re clear.
She says: “Someone needs to take the higher ground by telling the other person. It doesn’t have to be a protracted conversation. Just a few words will do.”
Even if you want more than just a fling, Lynda warns little good will come from pining over the object of your affection from the stationery cupboard: “You need to get a grip and remember this is your job. You need to be professional and keep your emotions out of the workplace. And if you have to reject someone, be kind but firm.”
But a long-lasting relationship can also blossom at work. Victoria Gregory, 26, and Rich Keeble, 29, met when they worked at engineering firm Atkins in Epsom, Surrey. They have been seeing each other for more than three years and recently moved in together in Croydon. They put their happiness down to being able to distance their personal and professional lives.
Victoria says: “Rich and I work in different teams, so we don’t have much to say about work most of the time.”
Some companies have strict rules on work romances, but even if there are no formal guidelines, Field advises: “Keep your relationship out of the office.”
ON the Tube, in a coffee shop, crossing the road - love can strike anywhere in London.
And every day thelondonpaper receives scores of emails and texts from Londoners who think they may have spotted the love (or lust) of their lives, but who didn't stop to do anything about it!
But all is not lost because we're more than happy to play Cupid and everyday we publish our favourite paeans to lost love - which might just be salvagable!
Spotted a hottie on the Jubilee Line? Drop us a text. Heart melted by the boy in the Tate? Send us an email. Madly in love with the girl who collected your glass last night? You know what to do.
We'll publish the best and if we help to hook you up you could even win a romantic meal for two courtesy of ASK Restaurants.
What have you got to lose?
Today's Lovestruck Londoners: Could it be you they fancy!?
To the purple-hatted singing siren on the Kingston to Waterloo train. Your hauntingly beautiful voice affects me. ANON
To the cute elf busker at Tottenham Court Road at midnight, playing With Or Without You. Christmas sounded better with you. Drink? MJ
To the girl who asked me where the subway was near Finsbury Park. I thought you meant the sandwich shop so sorry for the wrong directions! Drink? Confused
To Thomas, the sweaty sergeant in Roadhouse on the Friday before Christmas, whose brow I kept trying to mop. Just thought you should know that you were perfect in every way that night. And yes, I would’ve been jealous if you’d tried getting off with my friend (or anyone else for that matter). ANON
To the cute girl with dark hair, hat and nose ring on the Central line. It was a Saturday morning and we smiled a few times before I got off at Bank. I’m the girl with the dark curls. Have been thinking about you and would like to get to know you. S
To Tom, the guy with blue eyes and feather hair on the Victoria line. I’m the girl you laughed with in the red hat. Fancy a check one two? E
To the northern guy on the Piccadilly line – we talked about baked beans and neighbours. Fish and chips sometime?
Beans lover
You were the beautiful girl in the food queue at the cafe in the Crypt. We exchanged a brief comment about the service, but I have been intrigued since. Are you single? ANON
To the constable from Colindale whose colleague is called Meekdog. I was the blonde in the red blouse. Dinner? Girl in red blouse
380 bus, Lewisham to Woolwich, the Sunday before Christmas. You were standing at front, in dark blue mini-dress, Adidas top and hairband. When you dropped your make-up, I picked it up. Would you like a drink?
ANON
To the gorgeous tall French guy from Corsica. You got on to my bus heading towards Putney on Friday 19th. Would you like to meet again?
TALL, BEAUTIFUL BLACK GIRL
You called me Kate Winslet in reflex@thebank and we missed our trains home, because we were talking. You have a passion for coffee. Fancy it?
Carole
To Amanda, from Elstree: I miss you. Best wishes. Bri
To the man who waltzed me round Covent Garden Square on the Saturday night before Christmas. You make me smile. Lainy
To Emma, from New Zealand. I should have got your number but I was too shy. You didn’t have to spend Xmas alone. Get in touch. Marcel
To the lovely girl from Hungary on the Jubilee line on Sunday 21st: I got off at Waterloo. You wished me merry Christmas. I’d love to talk to you. ANON
To the fit black guy in the beanie hat smoking with a mate on Oxford Street near HMV. I was checking you out but I fell! Call me and maybe I can make you fall for me too! Fall girl
To the girl who works for the London Orchestra. We met at The Big Chill House and shared a giggle at the bar while waiting for drinks. A drink and some giggles? Jules
HAS LOVE STRUCK YOU?
Recognise yourself? Email love@thelondonpaper.com.
You could win a meal for you and your admirer at an ASK restaurant
Click here for terms and conditions